What Dinosaurs Were Really Like

Monday, 4 December 2006

[Picture of typical dinosaur]WE are fed lies all the time.

Some people might think that this statement is a tad paranoid, mistaken or exaggerated — but is it?

Take paleontologists — these guys don’t seem like typical liars, and maybe they’re not, but they keep a lie alive whether they know it or not. Somewhere along the line someone looked at a fossil and guessed at all sorts of things — what colour was it’s hair or fur, what it ate, and — the most incredible of them all — what noise it made!

That’s a neat trick!

And it’s also a neat trick that we all believe it to be FACT! We now watch Saturday morning cartoons with dragons and dinosaurs roaring away AS IF IT WAS TRUE. ‘Jurassic Park’, ‘Walking With Dinosaurs’ — all based on guesswork or lies.

Can anyone prove me wrong if I say that massive plant-eating sauropods (the biggest monsters) actually clucked like big chickens. They did not roar, they clucked big time. Or that triceratops made a sound like a cat gargling or mewing under water. Velociraptors went ‘meep-meep’ just like the roadrunner cartoon, and the giant meat-eating T.Rex produced the most lovely birdsong.

[Picture of colourful fish]I’ll tell you what else — Jurassic Park is wrong about what they looked like too. They were not boring dark-greeny-brown colours at all. Paleontologists looked at creatures that survived from prehistoric times — the Crocs and Elephants — and then they guessed that dinosaurs must have been similar!

[Picture of colourful birds]Well, that is a daft premise — dinosaurs are extinct — maybe if they were more like crocs and elephants they would have survived! I personally think they were very colourful indeed, like parrots. Giant Parrots. Loud patterns of colour.

[Picture of leopard skin] [Picture of zebra skin] [Picture of tiger skin] [Picture of Giraffe skin] [Picture of chameleon]

Why not? Think of leopard skin, zebra skin, or a tiger!

[Picture of cow skin]We know that the mammoth was a hairy elephant — but we assume it was grey-brown. Why can’t mammoths have blonde hair? Or ginger hair — like highland cattle? Why couldn’t they have blue spots?

[Picture of snake skin]

The sad fact is that paleontologists are boring, conservative and unimaginative. Now imagine Jurassic Park with giant creatures of bright colours and patterns, long fur or feathers and clucking like a chicken! Why not? We class many of them as reptiles, but snakes and lizards can be extremely colourful — some can even change colour, so why are we told dinosaurs are so brown and so “roary”?

2 Responses to “What Dinosaurs Were Really Like”

  1. patrick Says:

    I could not agree with you more, especially about the noises. On Jurassic Park the dinos sound like bloody trains. Living lizards don’t make noises like that, nor do crocs. What a load of rubbish. They are making it up as they go along.

  2. yupko Says:

    I agree about the color, but about the noise… I’d think the bigger the dinosaur the lower the sound, so that velociraptors might meep, but T-rex might roar.

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