How To Fly

Friday, 29 December 2006

[Picture of the Wright Brothers’ Flying Machine 1908]“TWO Wrongs do not make a Right, but two Wrights made the first aeroplane”.

This is fun, but it is also very true; negativity so easily breeds. If someone does something bad to you, then it is natural to want to return the badness — or even to spread the badness by being bad to someone else (for example, if someone kicks you and so you kick the dog). This sort of thing just ruins things for everyone, and no good ever comes from it.

If someone does something bad to you, and you shrug it off, then the buck stops with you, and the negativity does not spread any further; that is limiting the damage. It is better than joining in, but you are fighting against your natural inclination for revenge and fairness (evening the score), so it is difficult. Just remember that….

“A Problem Shared is a Problem Squared”

This old cliché has been proved to be true time and time again! The only positive outcome for a problem is to be solved, not shared! For instance, if you have financial difficulties, it is better to get a second job, ask for a raise or to sell something than to moan, beg or play the victim.

The mindset should always be solving a problem, not crying and talking about it! Psychiatry and psychotherapy have become so accepted today that people actually believe that talking and sharing can solve every problem! In recent years I have even heard this old cliché re-written as ‘A Problem Shared is a Problem Halved’ — which is not just obviously contrary to life experience, but it doesn’t even rhyme!

This is a dangerous idea — paparazzi search for the gossip, and journalists seek ‘the truth’, and this has led to pre-emptive celebrities telling all in their biographies or doing ‘kiss-and-tell’ revelations to the tabloids. Problems of the past that have been solved in a positive way — often in a way that strengthens the character and positively contributes to later success – have only negativity to offer and should therefore be left alone, we should always forgive and forget and:

“Let Sleeping Dogs Lie”

It doesn’t really matter where a story came from, of even if it is true — reputations get ruined and images tarnished as a result of problem ‘sharing’. My old mum used to say:

“If you can’t say anything nice, then say nothing at all”

Just remember that people take on the traits they describe in others according to one Tasty Research article, and the even the negative effects of teasing according to another Tasty Research article.

So much for doing nothing, or getting the buck to stop. ‘Two wrongs do not make a right, but two Wrights made the first aeroplane’ suggests is that if someone does something good for you, and you want to retaliate by doing something good back — or even for spreading the good by doing something good for someone else, then you are flying!

Not only will you all feel like you’re flying, that everything is easier and lighter, but that the goodness, the benefit is amplified out of proportion — this is how people get things off the ground. Literally.

This is how a Nelson Mandela gets free. This is how a Berlin Wall comes down.

It is rare to have something entirely good or entirely bad, so it is always possible to drag good things down. In fact it is a bad habit for most people to distrust, to be wary and suspicious — and even scared.

It’s about trust; in a personal relationship, such as a marriage, it becomes very clear indeed; two people pulling in opposite directions work very hard to get nowhere when badness is limited by not being returned. The relationship self-destructs when badness is returned.

But when the two trust each other, support each other — when good is done and returned, then we have flight!

The Wright Brothers would probably have been the first to tell you that flying is a risky business, but it is a risk worth taking. You can do good, do bad or do nothing. The Wrights show us all that it is worthwhile taking the risk to do good — and trying again after a crash.

“Try, Try and Try again”

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